Tough Questions

The message that Clay and Kim brought yesterday was both challenging and inspirational. The story of what God has done in their marriage and both of their hearts is incredible and such an encouragement to young married men such as myself. It seems that several churches yesterday addressed the issue of marriage one of those messages came from Perry Noble who is the senior pastor of New Spring Church in Anderson, SC. As a take home, they provided some bullet points that are red flags to identify when we as husbands are slacking off or when our wives are slacking off, followed by some real transparent questions that are crucial to be asked. So in the spirit of yesterday's message here at Barefoot on marriage and as a challenge to all of us to wake up and acknowledge what God has put in front of us in our marriages, I thought I would share the questions and points with you:

How Do You Know When Your Spouse Is Slacking Off?

• What is special to her is no longer special to him – you didn’t have this attitude when you were dating, but once you married her you thought, “I don’t have to work now!” Wrong…you’ve got to work harder!
• You won’t pray with her or for her!
• You stop pursuing her romantically and sexually.
• You see her as your servant rather than your opportunity to serve.
• You want to use her for sex and don’t care if she truly feels connected romantically to you.
• You talk down to her and/or constantly raise your voice to her.
• You compare her to other women…in front of her.
• You are keeping secrets from her.

She’s Slacking Off When…

• You love talking about him (in your prayer gossip group) but have no desire to talk to him about the problem.
• You love it when he spends more time at work…that means you don’t have to be around him as much.
• You disrespect him out loud and often in front of your children.
• You know TONS about the lives of your kids…but are clueless about what is going on in his life.
• You withold sex to punish him and/or to get your way.
• You are keeping secrets from him.

And…in case you didn’t pick up the questions yesterday (or for those who were not there)…we handed out a card with five questions on it that we challenged husbands and wives to use as a guide to have a conversation with one another sometime in the next 24 hours…the questions were…

1) Have you ever had sex with someone other than me since we have been married?
2) Where have I become slack in my efforts to make you feel important?
3) Men ask your wife to complete this sentence: I think its romantic
when you_____.
4) Women ask your husband to complete this sentence:I feel the most
appreciated and respected when you________.
5)Are you engaging in anything online that you be ashamed of if I found out?